Booty Lovin

IMG_1472Well it’s been quite a while since I’ve written a blog. Not sure if blogging is still even a thing or if maybe I should be mumble rapping this or taking artsy pictures of food depicting my story. Anyway, I’m old school, so I’m going to type it on my computer that I can put anywhere I want and it doesn’t even have to be plugged in. I tried to write a letter recently. Well, I did write a letter, in fact I think I might start doing it on a regular basis but dang, those are finger muscles that aren’t used anymore. I got through like 2 pages and I was like, “okay, well that’s where the end of this letter is.” Literally, that was my sign off. Not Sincerely, Mindy. Not Love, Mindy. Just, okay, I’m done. I’m hoping they’ll appreciate the thought. Which brings me to the season.

It’s almost Hanukkah and almost almost Christmas. Presents. Who ever thought of the saying it’s better to give than to receive never had to give to people that don’t need anything. Seriously, I’m not trying to be all first world here, but you know what it’s like to try and pick out a present for someone that just buys from the top shelf of the grocery store? Or the people that wave out matches instead of just blowing them out. That’s inhumane. But I do have the answer.

You guys are going to thank me for this. The absolute best answer for anyone who has to buy something for someone that has everything. Buy them a 4 pack of Charmin Toilet Paper. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Mindy, some people have wells and can’t use that fancy 2 ply.” This is where the GIFT comes in. They use it, only them. It’s not gonna F up their septic if it’s just them using it, and only for a short amount of time, well enough time for them to go through a 4 pack. I’m just saying, I live in an apartment that I rent, so you better believe my booty is living the good life with Charmin, and all those fancy people in your family that live in big houses and have crazy septic tanks that you have to practically wipe with your own hand, they would freak out if you gave them a personal supply of Charmin. It’s like buying them an all expense paid trip to the Islands….for their booty.

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Sleeping Baby and What I Learned About Tape

X in glassesI laid my 4 month old Xavier, on his belly to take a nap 30 minutes ago (despite all the warnings I found on Google) and although he’s probably enjoying the most peaceful sleep he’s ever had, I’ve already checked on him (7), wait….(8) times. I blame Google. Since the night I went into

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My Addiction to Wife Swap, and Other First Time Momstakes…

IMG_1472I had a baby 3 months ago today. His name is Xavier and he is pretty rad. I have to say though, that I’m still not used to being a Mom.  I have no idea what I’m doing, and probably won’t for another 54 years from now. I figure by the time he’s 54 and 3 months, I might have more of an idea about how to do this whole

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Stream of Mindyness 9

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I work with dogs so the downside is that I have to pick up a lot of their poop, but the upside is that they don’t think it smells like

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Stream of Mindyness 8

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Are you aware that lions sleep like 20 hours a day? Can you even fathom doing that on a daily basis? How would you spend your

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Stream of Mindyness 7

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Have you ever eaten a lot of carrots and felt sick? Sometimes I find that if I eat carrots on an empty stomach, they make me nauseous. Boy did I just not know how to spell

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Stream of Mindyness 6

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There have been a lot of colds and sicknesses going around lately. It makes me think what do ninjas do when they are sick? I wouldn’t think that they could go to work and do their ninja things while they were sick. I mean

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Stream of Mindyness 5

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People are so funny about free samples. Free anything really. They flock to it like starved vampires in the night. Do vampires flock? I wonder if a bunch of Vampires would be called a flock. Although if I ever needed to say

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Stream of Mindyness 4

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I feel like I’ve lost a lot of my creativity since when I was a little Mindy. I used to see a cardboard box and think, “aw cool, a fort, or a spaceship or a stuffed animal bus!” Now I see a cardboard box and I think

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