Cats Rule The Earth

I think I would like to be a cat for one day. But just one day. You get fed, you get treats, you get your “toilet” cleaned for you. Then there’s all the snuggling and petting. However, I think I’d be kinda done with the feline life after one day. I say that because I’ve been home all day today. I’ve watched my cat wake up from sleeping with me on my bed, eat breakfast, poop in the litterbox, then sleep in her favorite box for 5 hours, eat lunch, meow at Karim til he gives her treats, then jump on my desk into her bed next to my computer which she has been sleeping for the past 2 hours. I mean, I like to catch up on sleep as much as the next guy but that is a heck of a lot of sleeping. I think it would be fun if I was dreaming the whole time. I wonder if cats dream? Maybe they dream of being really active and that’s why they’re always so tired. Maybe they’re constantly dreaming of being in the cat Olympics where they have to outrun bears and cheetah’s in the 100 meter dash and capture as many bugs and mice in a room before the other cats can get to them. And the medal ceremony would be the first place cat gets 5 minutes of butt scratching, the second place cat gets a few treats, and the third place cat gets just a couple of those slow eye blinks from his owner. I saw a documentary recently about training cats and it said that if you can get a 60 second training session daily for your cat, that’s more than good. 60 seconds! It takes me 60 seconds to put my shoes on (mostly because I can never find my shoes), imagine if that’s all you had to do for the day and everyone was overly excited with your output. 

It’s definitely come to my attention lately that cats run the world. Not only do we wait on them hand and foot but in history, they came to us because they realized we would do just that! They are the only animals that have domesticated themselves. They saw humans and were like, “Aha! Those foolish creatures will totally buy into our cuteness and do everything we want them to do!” And it’s totally true. I mean, what do cats really do for us? Think about it? If you’re thinking, “Hmm, well they comfort me when they come sit on my lap and purr.” Nope, that’s them getting a warm spot and getting you to pet them. They are basically little bosses that live with us and constantly demand things and yell (meow) at us until their wishes are granted. I tried to deny my cat access under my covers last night. I was tired and just trying to get to sleep and she kept bopping me in the face until I finally caved, opened the covers only for her to decide she didn’t actually want to go under there. Don’t get me wrong I’m a total cat person. But I’ve realized we’re all just living in their world. Have you ever seen a big ol’ dog get scared away because a cat hissed at them? It’s because the dog knows that cats are the rulers too. So I’m glad we all agree. Now I have to go, I see some crustys in my cat’s eye that I have to get out for her. 


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