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When I was a little Mindy I always wanted to climb a telephone pole. It always looked so tempting with the little metal handles sticking out the side, seemed like the best climbing tree around. But my mom always told me not to go near them because I would be electrocuted. So I decided back then, that when I was really old, like for my 100th birthday I would finally climb a telephone pole. That way if I do get electrocuted, at least I’d go out with a bang after having fulfilling my lifelong dream. I’ve since mentioned this to Karim and he was wondering what if I didn’t die from climbing it, so I decided that maybe if I reached the top unscathed, I would jump off. Then he said, “well what if you just get really hurt from the fall then you would be in pain the rest of your life.” Well to that, I say, if I live to be 100, and get to climb a telephone pole for my birthday, and get to jump off of said telephone pole; I probably would already be doped up on something to get me to do that, so I wouldn’t feel a thing.
If I was a transformer and I got to change into something, I think it would be cool to transform into lunch box. It’s something that doesn’t get thrown away, I would be very useful and people would bring me to interesting things. So I could be sitting in a really important meeting where the people were deciding what to do with the Chupacabra nest they just discovered, and then I would transform into me and be like, ‘hey you guys found a Chupacabra nest? That’s cool.’
There’s really no reason not to get wheels implanted into your feet as long as you could control when they were out or in. Like landing gear, you would be able to all of a sudden pop them out and just glide around. I mean look how popular those wheelie shoes are, and they are just one wheel on the heel. I think we’d get a lot more done, at least a lot more moving around. It might make your feet heavier though, and it would make it tougher to buy shoes cause you’d have to get shoes that could allow for the wheels to pop out.
I like lollypops but sometimes I feel like it’s the government’s way of tricking me into cutting my own tongue on the sometimes sharp ridges of the pop. I don’t know what they get out of it, but rest assured, I won’t be eating any lollypops on my 100th birthday. I don’t want anything distracting me from achieving that dream.