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Are you aware that lions sleep like 20 hours a day? Can you even fathom doing that on a daily basis? How would you spend your awake time? Well you have to factor in eating, let’s say about an hour a day for preparing meals and eating, and that’s if you’re using a microwave. If you want to bake some chicken you are going to be losing sleep my friend. Maybe a half hour showering and grooming yourself, also, you gotta be pretty quick, just let those misc. hairs grow and hope no one is watching you while you sleep. That leaves you 2 ½ hours to earn a living, spend time with your loved ones and catch up on the latest world events/hobbies/friends. Everyone would be going a million miles an hour but only for 4 hours a day. They would probably have to sync everyone’s sleeping schedules up so stores and schools would be open during the awake hours. Forget traffic and cars, you wouldn’t really have time to drive anywhere or get gas. You’d have to have everything you need within a few blocks radius or else you’d be bound to fall asleep somewhere along the way. Then again, that could be funny too, just seeing the 405 packed with cars but not because of an accident, just because everyone is sleeping.

I’m not against remakes. Well some of them, okay, a lot of them, especially when the original make was only a few short years before. It’s really crazy how we, and by we I mean to include humans and the occasional over intelligent chimp, are really just repeating everything in life, over and over. Fashion, entertainment, pets. I know what your thinking, pets? But really, we’ve had some breeds around a long long time and now we get bored and come up with new breeds that are just smaller versions. Like miniatures and teacups. How about we start coming up with new creatures for pets? Like living muppets, or any of those weird creatures in The Dark Crystal like Fizgig! That would be new and different.

Sometimes I like to trick myself into thinking green beans are French fries. The way I do this is eat the green beans with my hands and dip them in this new awesome jalapeno yogurt dip I found at Costco. I think that people could catch on to this, because everyone likes eating things with their hands that are little because your brain automatically computes it as snack food = must be yummy. They make those snap peas that are like dried out, crunchy and chip like already but I’m pretty sure, they are not at all good for you. ‘Good For You’ is such an opinionated term. I mean, I think a lot of things can be good for you for different reasons. And, if you just eat one type of thing, like veggies, than I think that’s probably not good for you. Look at Panda’s they just eat bamboo leaves and stems and they’re huge. And think about how much they have to eat to get enough energy to make it through their Panda day. If they ate something else say, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every once in a while, they could spend less time eating and more time learning to fly. Or sing. We’ll never know what Panda’s are capable of until we get them off that Bamboo. Panda’s also sleep like 16 hours a day. No wonder we’re at the top of the food chain.

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Have you ever eaten a lot of carrots and felt sick? Sometimes I find that if I eat carrots on an empty stomach, they make me nauseous. Boy did I just not know how to spell nauseous. Thank goodness for autocorrect. I spelled it so wrong at first, it didn’t even come up as one of my choices. Didn’t you hate that when you were little when you asked your parents how to spell something and they said, “look it up.” How did they expect us to look it up if we couldn’t spell it? Now I am well aware, that they told us that because they didn’t know how to spell it either. Which brings me to the point, I was so much smarter as a kid. I mean book smart. Now, I’m more life smart, but I used to be able to do pre-calculus. Now, I’m not even sure what that is. I distinctly remember thinking in school, in math and science class in particular (because I was not very good in either of those subjects) that I would never need this information in life. And it turns out, I was right and unfortunately, I feel no sense of satisfaction out of that realization.
I recently purchased one of those solar powered dancing flowers and put it in my car. I can’t begin to express the joy I experience seeing this little plastic flower groove back and forth while the sun shines down on it. Just yesterday, I was walking by my parked car, I saw my little flower jamming out through the window and I felt a burst of happy much like if volcanoes spewed out rainbows for an hour. Then I walked by my car again, maybe 20 minutes later and something far more dark and dismal came to be. There lying on my dashboard, lifeless, was the head of my rhythmic flower. The poor thing danced it’s head clean off. Gloria Estefan knew what she was talking about when she said, “the rhythm is gonna get ya.” It’s sad and true. I got in my car, and through my tears tried to put together my beheaded friend, but no. Now, as the sun shines down, cascading through it’s fake plastic leaves, my former dance crazy flower, only does a spasm motion equal to when you are lying in bed asleep and you dream you fell and jerk yourself awake. It no longer brings me the smiles of yesteryear, well yesterday morning at least. It now reminds me that life isn’t always rainbows, sometimes, it’s an overdose of carrots sneaking up on your hungry tummy.

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